Something bookish

I’m sure you know what I mean when I say that I hate that feeling when I try to think of a good insult and can’t come up with one until five minutes later when it doesn’t matter anymore.
It is in times like these that it would be best to consult the experts. Here are choice insults from some of the biggest names in literature, both past, and present, to draw from the next time you really want to burn someone with some style.
I know the title of the post says “weekly 8” but I couldn’t help myself.
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Here goes…
“The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me.” – Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
“You speak an infinite deal of nothing.” – William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
“You’re a beast and a swine and a bloody, bloody thief!” – William Golding, Lord of the Flies {This is my fave of all time!}
“You are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.” – Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice
“If you will forgive me for being personal, I do not like your face.” – Agatha Christie, Murder on the Orient Express
“May your genitals sprout wings and fly away.” – Terry Pratchett, Small Gods  
“The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.” – George R. R. Martin, A Feast For Crows
“She would have been a good woman… if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.” – Flannery O’Connor, “A Good Man is Hard to Find”
“He is simply a hole in the air.” – George Orwell, The Lion and the Unicorn
“He was a tool of the boss, without brains or backbone.” – Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis
“She is nuttier than squirrel poo.” – J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“If I was as ignorant as you I wouldn’t let on.” – Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – J. R. R. Tolkein, The Fellowship of the Ring
“You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.” – Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
“I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” – Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
See anything you can use or like?


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