Have you ever been cheated on?
 
When someone cheats on you, your mind and emotions scream at you to hate, punish and never forgive. It’s hard to let go of those feelings.
 
But I feel forgiving someone for cheating will actually benefit you more than the cheater. The anger we feel after infidelity is like a poison that lives in us. Forgiveness is the antidote and the only way to move on.
 
You should try to forgive someone for cheating, but only once you understand what forgiveness means and how you can achieve it. Forgiveness is not for the offender,  it is for the person who holds resentment.
 
Forgiveness is part of the journey of moving on with your life after someone hurts you in such a humiliating way. It’s about looking out for your mental health, not letting the cheater off the hook.
 
So, I asked members of The Tribe this question…
 

What would you be able to forgive: a partner who had a physical affair or a partner who developed an intimate relationship with another person without the sex part?

 
I would forgive both actually but if the partner falls in love with the other person then, we might have to break up.
 
Here are the answers!

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Ah…
Its tough. As a guy I would rather have my woman’s emotions on lockdown. If she gets physical with someone else and thats all there is to it, fine. But we all know once a girl gets physical, the emotions are gone too. So…I really don’t know.
Chris, Male
 
Physical affair I can forgive. We are human and all.
Peter, Male
 
 
Both are hard to get over.
Shopi, Male
 
 
Intimacy is the mother of all fuck ups o.. pls knack n be going o.
Stefan, Male
 
 
As for me, it’s a partner who had a physical affair. To me, a lot of people have sex with a lot of people and nothing meaningful comes out of it. But being intimate with someone without sex is much more intense. I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of conversations they’ve had😩. To me, they became totally naked before each other and connected on a higher level.
Anonymous, Female
 
 
This is a pretty dicey question to answer as our answers are really just written words until we find ourselves in that specific situation. Only then would we (I) know which one I’d be able to forgive.
I think I can forgive both in my present state of mind reasons being that first off I’ve been in a similar situation as the perpetrator and I was forgiven on all counts. Secondly because we all make mistakes and we’re all of us human and deserve second chances. Thirdly because as Christians and children of God (by whatever name he’s referred to as per religion), we have been given the spirit of love and forgiveness.
That doesn’t mean one has to stay in said relationship even after forgiving said person.
Osasu, Male
 
I don’t think I want to forgive either, however if I had to, I can forgive the former. An intimate relationship means everything I think we have, he has that with someone else, do I even want to compete with that?
Estelle, Female
 
 
Cheating doesn’t happen when your partner sleeps with someone else. Cheating starts when your partner is emotionally detached to you, ultimately leading to intimacy with someone else. So, I will forgive a partner who cheats physically, and divorce the one who cheats intimately.
Anonymous, Male
 
Hmm this is tough because they carry about the same weight. For the partner who developed an intimate relationship (I’m guessing you mean in a romantic sense), they will always wonder about the Sex, and will always treat them better than their partner. And for the physical affair, they will also wonder about getting more if it they think it is better and if they were getting other benefits out of the affair. The only way having a partner that develops an intimate relationship with someone else will be perceived as the better of the two is if the relationship is purely platonic (yes these also exist) and if it is caught in early stages (if they were headed down the romantic road).
Ify, Female
 
 
This is really tricky. I had to think about this really hard. I think I’d (grudgingly) forgive the physical affair. And that’s if (s)he asks for forgiveness. It will be hard to get past it. But it is what it is.
C, Female
 
 
I prefer intimate without sex because it is understandable that humans develop feelings for others and it will wear off. However, for a physical affair, I would feel robbed of that which should be elusively mine.
Uncle Okey, Male
 

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What about you? What would you forgive?
 
 

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