I would never forgive myself for botching my mother’s birthday, this year. Daddy Dearest likes to give me the task of finding new spots for the family to have lunch or dinner to celebrate our little moments. So, I went online and checked the EatDrinkLagos website, like I usually do and Insignia Restaurant was given an okay review. So, I told daddy I had found the perfect spot. Let me just give you the copy on Insignia’s website.

“Insignia is an experience. Cosy with nooks and corners, it is a bit of everything to everyone. Great for a fun casual night out with friends, it also serves as a special date night venue or a place to meet new friends at the bar/lounge. Most importantly, it is a place to feed your senses. The Chef has trained for over 10 years with Giancarlo and Mario who taught him authentic Italian home cooked food. Nevertheless, his passion for food extends beyond Italian cuisine and his preparation encompasses the best American Burgers, Steaks and Spuds, Healthy Salads, Chicken Drumsticks, Wings and a lot more…”

But you know what? I call bullshit. This was one of my worst dining experience.(and i’m not that hard to please). The exterior was quite lovely, I really liked the black on the wall but we got in and all I could smell was stale cigarettes. I don’t hate cigarretes smell but when I’m not prepared for it, it can be a huge turn off. By preparation, I mean I’m being made aware that the smoking is being done indoors, you know, like a club or a viewing center or a lounge.  When I want to eat, stale cigarettes smell is irritating. Anyhoo… The only thing I liked about Insignia was the plate.


Insignia Restaurant plate

My mum ordered for a T-Bone steak and they swore it was prime cut. All the way from South Africa(smh). But what did mummy end up with?

Not even pretty to look at

And the worst part? For #6000naira, she couldn’t even enjoy the steak because it was overcooked.

She had to stand to cut it!!!

I ordered for a Barracuda curry with white rice but I was given…Sigh

yup. whatever this is…

Overall, I did not enjoy myself at all. And it was so expensive. Not so expensive that we couldn’t afford it, it was expensive because the experience wasn’t worth it at all. I’m so disappointed. Never going there or recommending it to anyone. More pictures from the horror experience are below:

There is okay parking, other meals might be awesome but I’m too pained to want to try again. So, if you do go there, stay away from these meals.

My Verdict


Okay, so i’m a little pissed. But watch out for the next review, I have really lovely places  that I would love to share with you. Laters.