I pull the Jeep close to the pavement and kill the engine. The sudden silence and stillness in the car makes me feel present in the moment, makes it seem real. Now my emotions can bubble up to the surface of my consciousness, making me restless. My stomach flips over nervously.

Turning down the driver’s side sun visor and sliding open the door to reveal the vanity mirror, I check my makeup a last time. Dark brows, brown eyes framed in big lashes, and full red lips. I haven’t felt, or looked for that matter, this good in a long while. And I’m done wasting time.

Without the air conditioning on, the car is getting warm in the sun. I take this as a sign that I should stop stalling and get on with it.

So I take a deep breath, hold it in for a few seconds, and let it all go. Then I slide a hand under my black sun dress and slip off my pair of pale pink lace panties. I stuff them into my bag and get out of the car, not stopping to allow a second thought.

Once on the balcony, I give a hard, quick rapt on the front door and wait. I breathe out another heavy sigh through my lips, hoping to push my chaotic thoughts away with the air. It’s not working.

And then the door is pulled open. And that did the trick; the wild torrent of thoughts flee my skull in a hurry. My stomach drops again, a little bit in anticipation and a little bit in fear.

I look up at him, all big doe eyes and lips just a little parted, but not smiling. I want him to see my indecision, like I’m not sure I want what I’m getting myself into. It’s part of the game. I have the baby doll face and a look of innocence naturally; why not use it to my advantage? I’m twenty- five, but I don’t look it.

He pulls me over the threshold, against his body, and kisses me slowly on the lips. When he pulls away, he makes a sound in the back of his throat like he’s taken a bite out of a dessert he enjoys. It should be ridiculous, but when he does it, somehow it is not. It makes the skin on my upper arms prickle. I smile up at him and stand on my tip toes for another kiss.

Are you thirsty?” he asks, “Would you like something to drink?” He walks toward the kitchen, gently leading me along. I was thirsty, sure, but not for anything he could get me from the fridge.

No, thank you,” I reply. “I’m fine. I think I’ll just go put my things in your bedroom, if that’s okay with you?”

Of course,” he says and smiles. “You remember where it is?

I nod and head down the corridor, feeling his eyes on me as I walk away. My sun dress has an open back and I feel fairly certain he’s enjoying what he sees.

I smile at this thought and then feel a small pang of dampening guilt. I shouldn’t be doing this and I certainly shouldn’t be enjoying it. I can’t be this sort of woman. I’m the sort that dates the same guy for five years. From university all through NYSC. Who loves him through even when he can’t make me all that happy. Oh, wait. I already did that. And where did it get me again?

Two large hands close on my hips and I can’t help it; I’m so startled, I jump. He laughs a little under his breath, pulls me back against him, and sweeps my smooth hair behind my right ear. He leans in close and breathes, “You’re so fucking adorable. I can’t stand it.” My flesh erupts in goosebumps.

This is too easy for him.

He brushes his lips down my ear lobe and kisses my neck, one of my several weak spots. His mouth explores my throat and along my collar bone, raising a new wave of goosebumps. I can’t help it; I arch my back and lean into him, anticipating the feeling of him stiff and hard against the curve of my ass.

I lean back and ah, yes, there it is. He pulls me harder against him with his hands still on either of my hips. The pressure of his cock against me makes my stomach slip once more, like I’m free falling. I hadn’t been in town for a month and it seems I forgot how large it is.

The idea of it inside me makes me both eager and scared; I roll my head to the side so he can reach my throat better. The delicious feeling of his tongue and teeth on my skin makes my desire swell. His kisses get harder and his hands begin to roam from my hips.

Back over my round ass, up along the curves of my small waist, taking their sweet time before finally reaching my breasts. But when they get there, they freeze. His whole body stiffens behind me. He kneads his hands over them, feeling my hard nipples pressing through the flimsy material of my sun dress.

“You’re not wearing a bra?” he asks in my ear, his voice playfully stern. I bite my lip and refuse to answer, so he turns me around to face him.

Well?” he asks again. I still keep my mouth shut and cast my eyes down like I know I’m in trouble. Just a game, sure, but it sends my heart racing.

He places a finger below my chin and pushes it up so I have to look in his eyes. They’re warm and absurdly, I am reminded of malteasers. And his arms. Strong and muscled, but not bulky. The veins that run along his forearms are strangely sexy to me. I feel a visceral desire to run my tongue along them…

Distracted, are we?” he asks. His voice low, but still the hint of playfulness is there. “Well, I guess I’ll just find out for myself then.” He plucks up a strap of my dress and slides it down my shoulder. Now the other.

The bodice of the dress slips down my body like water, hanging on my hips but leaving me naked from the waist up.

“I thought so,” he says. And his hands go exploring again. Slowly and teasingly, until he lands a hard pinch on my left nipple. I gasp and he smiles.

Standing still and letting him touch me like this makes me feel dirty. And I can’t help it, but I like it. I could try to convince myself that I don’t enjoy feeling this way: like I’m his dirty, secret plaything. But there is no use. My body craves it. I feel a sweetness between my legs and know I’m wet already.

You really should answer me when I ask a question,” he warns. I nod.

Say it,” he says.

Okay,” I reply, “I’ll answer you.” My breathing is getting shallower and faster and he definitely notices it. And I know how much he likes it.

Better,” he says. “Now. Anything else to share?” he asks.

I fight the urge to smile and look down again. My cheeks feel hot. I might be blushing which is completely impossible. Black people don’t blush.

After a few seconds, I can’t help it and I have to look up at him again. A light bulb goes off behind his eyes and he tugs down on my dress, so it falls over my hips and down to the floor of his bedroom. And then I’m standing completely naked in front of him, his eyes climbing over each inch of my skin like it belongs to him.

“So, you weren’t wearing a thing under that dress?” he asks.

I shake my head and he raises his eyebrows.

No,” I say. His shameless desire for me makes me feel bold. I give him a faux shy smile. This seems to put him over the edge; he’s grown tired of waiting. So he yanks my body against his and kisses me roughly and deeply on the mouth. I get caught up in it, parting my lips for him when I feel his tongue. My hands finally get to do a little exploring of their own.

Once he knows I’m properly distracted, he pushes me and I fall back on the bed. Another rasping gasp; he’s caught me off guard- I hadn’t been expecting that. I prop myself up on my elbows, so I can watch him tug off his grey t-shirt and blue jeans. The outline of his hard cock in his briefs makes me feel nervous once again, like I’m a little kid who’s spotted her crush at break time. A wave of desire pulses down my body.

I greedily want to take him in my mouth, feel his cock hard and smooth and wet, slip in and out between my lips. I want to make him moan until his hands grab fistfuls of my messy hair and pull tight, fighting to hold on a little longer before he cums down my throat.

But I don’t have a chance to get my mouth on him before he deftly flips me over so I am laying on my stomach. He pulls me towards him so my feet touch the floor again but my upper body is still against the top of his bed. I suppose I must have spread my legs for him without consciously deciding to, because I feel him standing between them now.

There’s a loud smack when he brings an open palm down on my bare ass. The sting and surprise make my skin tingle and my heart pick up the pace. It feels like there’s a bird beating its wings in my chest.

He tugs my hair, pulling my head to the side so he can lean down and put his lips to my ear to whisper, “It’s been way too long since I’ve had you here. I’ve missed you.”

And innocently I ask him to show me how much he’s missed me.

He yanks down the front of his briefs and pushes inside me. He loves how wet I get for him and lets a moan escape his lips when he feels it.

With his first thrust, I have to let out a big breath. I’m tight and to be so suddenly filled gives me a sweet, painful sort of pleasure. I’ve been craving this and to have him inside me after all the waiting makes me feel almost high.

I arch my back so he can go deeper. I’m just a petite thing and taking so much of his length like this hurts, but when I hear another one of his moans, I don’t pull away.

Suddenly, he slides all the way out of me and turns me over onto my back. He steps out of his briefs and climbs on top of me. Then he pulls my wrists up and I hold them there, so he can reach into his bedside drawer and pull out a length of thick, black cording.

I keep still so he can quickly wind it around my wrists and knot them together. “Too tight?” he asks, and I shake my head.

I spread my legs for him, so his narrow hips are high between my thighs. My pussy aches with anticipation; I want him so badly. My eyes roam over his muscled body and up to his face. In his eyes I see my own hunger reflected sharply.

He tries to tease me, letting the head of his cock slip up against my wetness. It makes me squirm. It is impossible to stay still beneath him. My craving for him blocks out all else and in this moment feeling him inside of me is the only thing I want. I can’t help it. I’m going to beg.

“I love it when you pant,” he says. His eyes sweep down my naked body as he slides his cock against my clit again. It rolls over smoothly, slick from being within me. I know what he wants and so I give it to him.

Please. Babe,” I say between breaths and try my best to give him an innocent, wide-eyed look that he likes so much. Which is not easy to do when you are begging for cock.

He wants to tease me longer, wants to make me really beg before he gives it to me. But my doe eyes are doing the trick and he can’t wait much longer either. He tells me to say “pretty please.” I don’t hesitate.

So he slips my bound hands behind his head, so my arms are around his neck and finally plunges into me again. I’m flooded with carnal relief, my small body stretching to fit him. I usually like to watch him enjoy me, but tonight I want it so bad I can’t concentrate. The feeling is already overwhelming and the initial relief vanishes in an instant. But the pleasure is building swiftly, winding me tighter and tighter.

I pull in my arms so his forehead almost touches mine and he kisses me eagerly, his tongue tasting my lips. I tilt my head back so he looks at me and there is something I don’t recognize flashing in his eyes.

I may not know what it is, but my body reacts anyway. A slow, delicious wave of pleasure rolls through me. I lift my hips to try to keep it with me.

His rhythm increases and it feels almost brutal, but I’m grateful for it. I move with him as he pulls in and out, in and out. I know it’s about to come, so I try my best to clear my mind. It’s always been difficult to get me to cum, but somehow he’s able to do what the others can’t.

I suppose he’s seen something on my face or I’ve cried out because he smiles and says, “You really do like it rough.” And he goes harder.

Part of my body wants it to stop, feels like I won’t be able to take it anymore, like I’ll explode. And after a few more harsh thrusts, explode is exactly what I do. I catch one of the waves of pleasure racking my body and bear the most delicious, lingering release. The feeling is intolerable and enormous. For a few clear moments, there is absolutely nothing for me but all-consuming pleasure.

And then I collapse into the sheets like fluid, utterly spent and happily exhausted.

Now that he’s taken care of me, it’s his turn. Seeing me cum that hard has him frenzied. His hands are rough and wild, on my breasts, in my hair, at my throat. He lowers his head so my bound wrists slide off of his neck and I hold them down against the bed over my head. He yanks up each of my legs easily onto either of his shoulders. Pounding deeper still.

I know by the increasing rhythm of his breath that he’s close, so I move my sightline from his hips to his face and his body stiffens over mine. He finishes with two more slow, smooth thrusts as he empties his load inside me.

He pulls out and I feel sore and tender and raw. I relish it.

I get up onto my knees and sit down comfortably onto my heels, holding out my hands so he can untie the cording. He reaches out as if to do so, but instead grasps ahold of my forearms and tugs me sharply towards him so my face is close to his. Without a word, he puts a soft kiss on the corner of my lips and then frees my wrists.

A little bit of warm cum drips down my inner thigh. And I sort of like that too. It feels natural.

I really should pull on some clothes and go on back to my hotel room. But we’re both already half asleep when he pulls me into his arms. So instead, I let myself fall into sleep soundly with my head resting on his chest.